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Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Work Out

So this is gonna be kinda short since I have a crazy schedule I just wanna keep coming on so I keep posting so I'm working out 3 times a day for well the rest of forever haha i have to get ready for another Vegas trip (just had one April 30- May 2 cuz I turned 21!!) but this one isn't until June so I definitely wanna get back into shape and then some cuz were going with my best guy friends that just turned 21 and one who turns 21 right before that so it should be insane. I'm already bored with all of the guys I'm dating and think I'm gonna get rid of them and get all new ones the one I like a lot isn't right for me right now and he's too busy to date but i think its a good thing I've declared 21 non stop party year and so far I've stuck to it haha all I'm gonna do is work out and party oh and 3 weeks of online summer school classes but I chose online so I could still go out. of to work out now BYE!

Friday, 15 May 2009

Insanity

Where have I been??? DATING!!! and its awesome but it sucks I love dating tho its way better than jumping into a relationship with one guy I can casually date lots of them and never be bored or whatever but theres one guy I like a lot... hes the one i want and I feel like hes the last one I can get ... maybe that why I want him so bad hmm thats kinda sick but I o have a tendency to want what I can't have the most... but thats not the only reason I like him hes like the most amazing guy well on paper and in theory but in reality hes too into work and his best friend i don't want to be his whole world but i don't want to be the last thing on his list. Oh Well!! I lost a ton of weight then gained a bit back, feel fatter than ever and I can't figure out why, binging purging all of a sudden again I think its this stress of boys boys boys and school and parents and friends jeez life is hard I'm coming back tho on the reg for sure

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Back Once Again

So I keep pulling this disappearing act not on purpose mostly for some reason my computer had a virus that would not let me sign in here and not too much has changed with me tho I got everything back on track and I stopped dating for a while but I need to start again so I'm going to I just was having so much fun being single that the last thing I wanted was a boyfriend to worry about haha so then I woke up on my yearly winter vacation and realized all my friends went and coupled off while I was busy having fun some of them are married now I noticed them and then others went and got engaged and the rest went and got serious grown up relationships I mean hello I know I'm the youngest of the group at 20 but I mean the oldest is 24 and everyone else is scattered in between were a young group what the hell are they thinking I mean I miss having a boyfriend sometimes to just hang out with u know but I love going out and not having to worry about what someone else wants to do I hate dating guys that aren't like right it feels like a waste hmm I'll figure it out I guess and let everyone know how its going

Friday, 21 November 2008

Am I nuts?!?

So I had the same bf on and off for 5 1/2 years then in February I couldn't take the limbo we were in anymore after a few months we became friends or as much of friends as we could be and then I realized I was over him and happy and we could just hang out and it didn't matter well after a series of events we hooked up realized it wasn't awkward and would just talk about everything after including who we were "talking to" at the moment (keep in mind I don't have sex with people I'm "talking to" or dating only exclusive full relationships takes a lot of time, very uncommon, not that I've never made a mistake or two) Well one of the guys I dated while we were friends has reemerged we didn't end badly he just moved and I don't do long distance period and while I want things to work out with him he was great I'm laying in be right now and I can't stop thinking that I might want my ex but I know that I don't I know its horrible and I don't want to be with him forever but theres this ease with him even when we hate each other and when its terrible and I'm crying that I can't get rid of and I can't just kick him out of my life I'm a super private person with everyone and he is the only person I've ever told a lot things to theres nobody else but I need to move on I'm just thinking out loud now this is one of those times where if I knew I'd be like this over 6 years later I never would have started obviously I can't be with someone again if I regret being with him in the first place I hate the way our relationship changed me

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Oh Dear

So school is still kicking my butt its non stop it starts when I wake up and I'm doing work til I go to bed at 3am every night and its not about to stop I feel good about my grades though but still its overly frustrating so I know i weigh myself like a million times a day I can't help it and even though I know I'm about to start my period which means I only lose like .5 lbs a day no matter what I do but I am still getting mad at the scale for this I know whats going on my water % has been pretty high and staying there and I keep mine at a high level already also I'm sooo dumb I totally have thot it was Wednesday for the past like hour which is why I missed all my favorite Tuesday shows haha oh jeez this school non stop thing is really messing with my mind